QUOTABLES | yes please – amy poehler

There are a lot of things I am unsure about about. For instance: do we really need kale to be healthy? Are spiders a necessary evil in this world?? Etc. Etc. One thing I am completely sure about is my belief that Amy Poehler is an actual angel sent via Fedex 2-day shipping, from whichever deity you worship. In her book Yes Please, we get to dive into Ms. Poehler’s brain as she bestows us mere mortals with her truth bombs, anecdotes and advice… and BOY are we #blessed to have her.

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Now, I decided I couldn’t review this book because every word is pure poetic perfection. There is no review necessary. However, Ms. Poehler is a comedic genius, a wonderful writer and my personal life-coach and she should be cherished and celebrated for all of those beautiful gifts. If I could get this entire book tattoo’d onto my body I would. Since I can’t- here are 15 of my favorite quotes/passages from her book. If you haven’t read it yet… please do. It. Is. Life. Changing.

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Without further ado, 15 quotes from Yes Please:

1.On being a decent human:

“The only way we will survive is by being kind. The only way we can get by in this world is through the help we receive from others. No one can do it alone, no matter how great the machines are.”

2. On life:

“Change is the only constant. Your ability to navigate and tolerate change and its painful uncomfortableness directly correlates to your happiness and general well-being. See what I just did there? I saved you thousands of dollars on self-help books. If you can surf your life rather than plant your feet, you will be happier. Maybe I should have called this book Surf Your Life. The cover could feature a picture of me on a giant wave wearing a wizard hat. I wonder if it’s too late. I’ll make a call.”

3. On E*MO*TION (not to be confused with the masterpiece that is Carly Rae Jepson’s most recent album):

“Emotions are like passing storms, and you have to remind yourself that it won’t rain forever. You just have to sit down and watch it pour outside and then peek your head out when it looks dry.”

4.  ON A BASIC RULE THAT EVERYONE SHOULD FOLLOW:

“Please don’t drive drunk, okay? Seriously. It’s so fucked up. But by all means, walk drunk. That looks hilarious. Everyone loves to watch someone act like they are trying to make it to safety during a hurricane.”

5. On anxiety (this one for me… <3):

“Well, the first thing we do is take our brain out and put it in a drawer. Stick it somewhere and let it tantrum until it wears itself out. You may still hear the brain and all the shitty things it is saying to you, but it will be muffled, and just the fact that it is not in your head anymore will make things seem clearer. And then you just do it.”

6. On sticking it to the man:

“I don’t like it when bratty, privileged old white guys speak to me like I am their mouthy niece. I got that amazing feeling you get when you know you are going to lose it in the best, most self-righteous way. I just leaned back and yelled, “FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU.” Then I chased him as he tried to get away from me.”

7. On learning to live:

“Time moves too slow or too fast. But I know a secret. You can control time. You can stop it or stretch it or loop it around. You can travel back and forth by living in the moment and paying attention. Time can be your bitch if you just let go of the “next” and the “before.”

8. On a hard and fast rule:

“If you don’t eat pussy, keep walking.”

9. On the lesson’s the movies of our youth taught us:

“Annie taught me that orphanages were a blast and being rich is the only thing that matters. Grease taught me being in a gang is nonstop fun and you need to dress sexier to have any chance of keeping a guy interested. But The Wizard of Oz was the ultimate. It dealt with friendship and fear and death and rainbows and sparkly red shoes.”

10. On learning to celebrate what makes you ‘you,’ and letting go of what isn’t:

“If you are lucky, there is a moment in your life when you have some say as to what your currency is going to be. I decided early on it was not going to be my looks. I have spent a lifetime coming to terms with this idea and I would say I am about 15 to 20 percent there. Which I think is great progress. Decide what your currency is early. Let go of what you will never have. People who do this are happier and sexier.”

11. Just some solid advice:

“if you do start crying in an argument and someone asks why, you can always say, “I’m just crying because of how wrong you are.”

12. Can the entire world adopt this view please:

“We should stop asking people in their twenties what they “want to do” and start asking them what they don’t want to do. Instead of asking students to “declare their major” we should ask students to “list what they will do anything to avoid.” It just makes a lot more sense.”

13. Just spittin’ some truth:

“How a person treats their waitress is a great indication of their character.”

14. On inspiring yourself:

“Watching great people do what you love is a good way to start learning how to do it yourself.”

15. On self-esteem: 

“That voice that talks badly to you is a demon voice. This very patient and determined demon shows up in your bedroom one day and refuses to leave. You are six or twelve or fifteen and you look in the mirror and you hear a voice so awful and mean that it takes your breath away. It tells you that you are fat and ugly and you don’t deserve love. And the scary part is the demon is your own voice. But it doesn’t sound like you. It sounds like a strangled and seductive version of you. Think Darth Vader or an angry Lauren Bacall. The good news is there are ways to make it stop talking. The bad news is it never goes away. If you are lucky, you can live a life where the demon is generally forgotten, relegated to a back shelf in a closet next to your old field hockey equipment. You may even have days or years when you think the demon is gone. But it is not. It is sitting very quietly, waiting for you. This motherfucker is patient. It says, “Take your time.” It says, “Go fall in love and exercise and surround yourself with people who make you feel beautiful.” It says, “Don’t worry, I’ll wait.” And then one day, you go through a breakup or you can’t lose your baby weight or you look at your reflection in a soup spoon and that slimy bugger is back. It moves its sour mouth up to your ear and reminds you that you are fat and ugly and don’t deserve love. This demon is some Stephen King from-the-sewer devil-level shit.”


Yes Please was a transcendent experience for me. I loved it so much I read it, then listened to it on audible. I recommend you do both as well. This was my first audible book… unfortunately I’m not sure I’ll be able to listen to another after having Amy grace my ears with her wisdom and humor.

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